TRIBE CHRONICLES PT 1

Wheww., this is harder than I thought.

Who else has been or felt personally victimized by the process of building your own adult community these days?

The way doing so attacks your self esteem and tests you.

I mean if you ask me, I deffo peaked in my Vegas years. I don’t need the pitiful “don’t say thats” and “that’s not truess”… Five years out and a dozen life changes later, after being in denial for so long I’m ready to admit it. In regards to my social life, the years living in Las Vegas have been unmatched, undefeated and severely missed.

Granted a huge chunk of those five years were swallowed by a global viral monster that took everything over and confined people to solitude in their homes…but still.

The sun and the fun (all hours of the day) I have yet to feel so excited in my life again. Mind you I was in a whole doctoral pharmacy program this entire time!!!

Nowadays it’s like I don’t know what to do with myself and what is a social life? Work and home are my most frequent stops. Maybe I’ll make an appearance here or there but the vibe is not the same. How does one find their “people”? Gone are the days of randomly clicking at the bar or in some bathroom and exchanging phone numbers with women who actually come through when plans are made for later.

I’m currently so selective of where and with whom I spend my time and money. I only have so much of it. Oh and energy—correction lack thereof. How can I have random “meet cutes” if I never feel like going out to meet? Call it aging, maturity sure… but if it’s time I settle down, who with? And in what space?

I fight the words alone and lonely fervently because in my walk with Christ I’m convinced those words are the most evil. From the arsenal of the enemy and they spiral into false self talk. I shouldn’t be so comfortable with them.

I will say though I spend a lot of my time with me… still. It’s been a while in this lane. Years. Even in my efforts of forcing more outings. Making sure I say “yes” to invites and I promise I’m going on those dates. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for but I surely haven’t found it yet. And I moved to the city? Come onnnnnnn!

Why is this harder than I thought?